


Horny Monkeys Dancing on a Keyboard

by ShamanicShaymin



Category: Sally Face (Video Games)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Creatures & Monsters, Alternate Universe - Prison, Alternate Universe - Rock Band, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Bathroom Sex, Biting, Blindfolds, Church Sex, Clothed Sex, Collars, Confessional, Dirty Dancing, Dirty Talk, Drabble Collection, Explicit Language, Ficlet Collection, Fluff and Smut, Frottage, Hate Sex, Human/Monster Romance, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Monster Larry Johnson, Multi, Nipple Piercings, Nuns, Oral Sex, Overstimulation, Pegging, Pet Play, Phone Sex, Piercings, Praise Kink, Public Sex, Religious Guilt, Roleplay, Rope Bondage, Rough Sex, Semi-Public Sex, Size Difference, Size Kink, Socks, Sounding, Stockings, Strap-Ons, Tsundere Travis Phelps, Voyeurism, Woman on Top, brief homophobic language, nun fetish
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-01
Updated: 2020-11-06
Packaged: 2021-03-05 04:42:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,929
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25018723
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShamanicShaymin/pseuds/ShamanicShaymin
Summary: They say if you have a thousand monkeys with typewriters, it would be enough for them to compose the works of Shakespeare. Unfortunately, this is not Shakespeare. But it is a bunch of smutty Sally Face ficlets and drabbles! Each is inspired by a ship and a prompt, and all of them are at least a paragraph long (three sentences minimum). Expect LOTS of mlm.
Relationships: Ashley Campbell/Larry Johnson, Ashley Campbell/Maple, Ashley Campbell/Sal Fisher, Ashley Campbell/Sal Fisher/Larry Johnson, Larry Johnson/Travis Phelps, Sal Fisher/Larry Johnson, Sal Fisher/Larry Johnson/Travis Phelps, Sal Fisher/Travis Phelps, Todd Morrison/Neil
Comments: 4
Kudos: 94





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Here’s one out of many ficlet/drabble collections! I asked the NSFW channel on the official Sally Face discord for prompts and specific ships, and I would write a smutty paragraph with the ship inspired by said prompt (at least three sentences minimum) Most of it is Sallary and Salvis, but there are a couple OT3s and a rarepair or two mixed in. :3

**Sal/Larry - praise kink** ****

“God, you’re so beautiful.” Larry purred, his hand descending down Sal’s skirt.

“Lar, I—“ Sal was about to protest—dude, he looked like a gremlin who fell inside a wood chipper—when the metalhead seized his lips with his and gripped his ass hard. The aqua-haired boy groaned into the kiss, running his hands through Larry’s hair.

“Told you.” Larry grinned. “Beautiful.”

**Sal/Larry/Travis - roleplaying**

“Gimme the money or the hostage gets it!” Larry growled, using his pointer finger as a gun against Sal’s head.

“Take the damn money! What do I care about a bunch of dead presidents anyway?” Travis snarled.

“He’s that valuable to you? In that case, we just might have some fun...” Larry cupped Sal’s chin. God, being treated as being worth more than gold... it took everything in Sal’s power not to break character and shower Larry and Travis in kisses.

**Sal/Larry/Travis - bondage**

Sal shuddered, his hands bound above his head and his eyes covered in a dark blindfold. He could hear the smacks of the paddle in Larry’s hand... and he knew the fingers wrapped around his cock were none other than Travis’s.

“Be good during your punishment and I’ll suck you off.” Travis growled.

“You ready, Sal?” Larry asked.

“Fuuuuuuck...” Sal groaned. “Do it.”

**Sal/Larry/Travis - public**

Travis wanted to say no— _shit they were so going to get caught_ —but he put his faith into his boyfriends. And that was how Travis Phelps was sandwiched between Larry Johnson and Sal Fisher, their exhilarated forms grinding against him on the dance floor, soaring him into new heights he had never experienced before. His pleasured groan is lost amid the volume of the music as he comes against Sal’s hand and the feeling of Larry’s crotch behind him.

**Ashley/Sal - intense**

Sal screamed to the heavens as Ash pounded relentlessly into him—the strap-on clearly did wonders for her as well as each thrust pushed harder at her clit. She leaned over him to kiss everywhere in reach: his nipples, his stomach, his hips. He wrapped his arms tight around her before he surrendered his essence—he felt her shudder in return and before they knew it, they lay panting together in their delirious high.

**Sal/Travis - church sex**

God, he was going to the deepest pits of hell but also he was in the highest clouds of heaven, the way Sal spread his legs and pushed himself inside him on the pews... Travis gazed in elation at the cross near the ceiling as his walls squeezed Sal tight, and for the first time in all his lonely life, he felt blessed.

**Larry/Travis - biting**

“Shut up!” Larry hissed, and he sank his teeth into Travis’s shoulder. Determined not to be outdone by the greasy motherfucker before him, the blond squirmed away and pinned him to the locker wall, ravishing his neck with tongue and teeth. Larry swore and groaned, clawing at his back as the church boy bruised him.

**Sal/Larry - piercings**

Sal’s mouth circled around Larry’s nipple piercing, the sleek smooth metal a treat for his tongue. He flicked it back and forth, tugging it a little to tug the sensitive little flesh it was attached to. He did the same for its twin, nibbling Larry’s soft little sounds like candy.

**Ashley/Maple - pet play**

“Hey kitty kitty kitty~” Ash called. “You’re such a good girl~”

“Meow!” With the jingle of the bell attached to her collar, Maple stretched the way a feline would before crawling on all fours and kissing Ash’s thighs.

“Yes... like that...” Ash sighed. Maple hummed in the closest approximation to a purr.

**Sal/Ashley/Larry - overstimulation**

“Oh gods...” Sal whimpered, covering his bright red face. “I can’t take it anymore... it’s too much...”

“I dunno... I think he can handle a little more.” Ash smiled. “What do you think, Larry?”

“Yeah, he needs more cock.” Larry grinned. “Alrighty then, Sal. Brace yourself!”

Sal screamed, throwing his head back as his partners proceeded to double-team him once again—Ash bobbing her head over his cock, Larry fucking him from behind. The brunettes held him still as he finally came, milking every ounce of pleasure out of him.

**Sal/Larry - voyeurism via Travis watching them**

Travis grimaced—he ought to report those faggots right then and there. But the way Larry kissed Sal with such tenderness, how calm and content Sal was... it was nothing at all like the sex he’d see in the movies, where it was always an arbitrary burden or straight up rape. The way Larry whispered to Sal that he would fuck him raw as though he were a poet describing the beauty of flowers, and how Sal would lovingly sass him and warn him not to put out too early was more romantic than any of the things his own mother and father had ever told each other—if they had ever talked at all. 

Travis held his breath as he watched Sal and Larry gasp and groan and whimper and laugh and he hated them so much... he wanted what they had. If they were going to hell, it was the most beautiful fucking hell ever, and he wanted to join them.

**Monster!Sal/Larry - Larry as a monster**

Larry wanted to die inside—Sal knew what he was, and no one wanted to be with a gigantic bat creature who—oh god, oh god...

“ _Sal, what are you doing?_ ” he roared, bearing his fangs. Nonchalantly, the blue-haired man had grasped his enormous dick and tapped the head with little kitten licks, swiping the pre-cum gathering at his tip. He lined it with kisses before pulling off his shirt and pants.

“Dude, I wear a prosthetic.” Sal said. “You think being a monster will scare me off?”

**Sal/Travis - shameful nun fetish**

Travis thought he knew shame from his father, but this is nothing like what Sal is making him do. The aqua-haired boy agreed to wear the nun dress and habit—but _only_ if he wore it too.

“Now we must pray.” Sal said, tugging at his skirt so he would be on his knees beside him. Travis swallowed his pride, screwed his eyes shut, and obeyed.

**Sal/Travis - shameful nun fetish (now with blowjob!)**

“I promised my virginity to God. I won’t penetrate you... but I will accept you silencing me with your cock.” Sal said, lowering his head beneath Travis’s skirt. The blond hissed through his teeth as Sal cradled his balls and caressed his shaft with his tongue, mentally begging God for mercy that the crimson hue growing across his face won’t consume him whole.

**Sal/Larry - dirty club bathroom + rock band AU hatesex**

“Damn, this place is a dump.” Sal commented on the bathroom surroundings, the sinks coated in cold grime and the walls slathered in lewd graffiti.

“Like you’re one to talk, slut,” Larry muttered, hoisting him on one of the sinks.

“Run that by me again? I’m not the one on my knees for coke.” Sal groaned as Larry bit his neck, the taller rockstar fumbling with the zipper of his pants and shoving them down.

“Shut it, I quit three months ago.” Larry growled. “You want me to fuck you or not?”

“Like an animal.” Sal narrowed his eyes beneath the prosthetic. “Get going, bastard.”

“ _Get going, bastard._ ” Larry mimicked, rolling his eyes. He fit a condom over his shaft before shoving into Sal. “Wow... you really are a whore, able to take me in without the least bit of prep.”

“Maybe I’m just fucking impatient.” Sal snarled, raking his fingers down Larry’s back. “Hah... how expensive is this jacket? Mmnh... how pissed off will you be if I rip it apart?”

“You better not, _bitch._ ” Larry huffed. After an unceremonious back and forth of smacking flesh and grunting, Larry pulled out and tossed the spent condom in the trash. He grabbed paper towels to pad at the mess left on his shirt.

“Dude, this shit is my best shirt.”

“Serves you right, fucker.” Sal glared, panting softly from his high.

**Sal/Travis - confessional**

“Father... I think I have a crush on this boy at school.” Sal explained at the confessional. “I know it’s wrong... I know I shouldn’t feel for a man the way man usually does with a woman. And it serves me right, too... he hates me with his entire being.”

Travis raised his eyebrow. Why would anyone hate Sal besides him?

“Who is this boy like?” “Father” asked.

“Well... he has short blond hair, which he always keeps combed, and brown skin and brown eyes. He’s kind of known as the bully of the school... but he keeps picking on me the most for some reason. Would it be because of my mask, Father?”

Oh god, is Sal talking about him? Did he really have a crush? On _him?_ No, this couldn’t be it. As a priest, it was his job to direct Sal down the path of righteousness... which meant away from him. And yet, curiosity is about to obliterate this fucking cat.

“W-What is it that you find attractive about this boy?”

“His giant fucking penis.”

**Sal/Larry, prison AU**

Larry was in prison for setting firecrackers at the local church—he thought he was a heretic, but compared to the Sally Face Killer, he was a joke. Yet despite the scary title and scary mask and _holy fuck this man can talk to ghosts?_ Sal Fisher was surprisingly... nice. If Larry didn’t know better, he could’ve sworn he’d been thrown in by mistake, or was one of the prisoners who was just here for getting caught with weed.

Sal wasn’t proud of his crime, but he murmured that he had no other choice. He’d scream from nightmares in the middle of the night—whatever shit he had gone through to get to this point had to have been pretty bad, Larry figured. But it meant no matter what, there was no trauma that would faze Sal that Larry couldn’t talk to him about. The two of them stuck together—it was them versus the world versus the other inmates.

What began as a nightly thank-you blowjob for protecting each other became sex became kisses. Life was so fucking weird and backwards in prison. For the first time in his pathetic excuse of a life, Larry thought he could become somewhat good. He’d do it for Sal. But that’s assuming the two of them would ever have any sort of life outside prison. But even if they never left... they had each other.

**Sal/Travis - secret courtyard sex**

“Travis... Travis, come on...” Sally grunted, grinding on the blond’s lap. “I need your cock... I need it so badly...”

“Do you want to get caught, Fisher? We’re in the middle of the fucking courtyard!” Travis hissed, looking around nervously. Sure, it was just grass and furniture as far as the eye can see, but if anyone got out of the church... “...Make it quick. And keep it quiet.”

Sal nodded and tore off Travis’s pants, seating himself back on the blond just as quickly. Travis shuddered as Sal’s insides clenched tightly around him, and he resisted the urge to gasp himself.

“Oh Trav...” Sal breathed, bouncing on his cock. “You feel wonderful... oh...”

Travis could say the same thing about him—he bucked into Sal, reveling in the heat and ecstasy. The blue-haired boy lifted his mask somewhat to coat his ear and cheek in kisses—Travis turned his head to meet his lips with his, and also to contain the groans both of them were making. After a while, Travis sighed as he poured himself into Sal, and Sal’s essence spilled into his hand. Sal lazily rolled off him before helping him clean up and pull up each other’s pants. When they finished, Sal lay against Travis’s shoulder as a pillow.

“Mmm... that was nice...” Sal hummed.

“Whatever...” Travis muttered. But in his heart, he agreed.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> MOAR PROMPTS

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That’s right ladies and gentlemen and nonbinaries... we got more ficlets! While there’s no longer a NSFW channel on the official SF Discord, I can still receive requests and prompts from friends! These are what I’ve got.
> 
> There’s one prompt that’s a liiiiiiiittle more extreme that I saved for its own section at the bottom. Just take caution and you should be fine. ;)

**Todd/Neil - First Time**

“I-I can handle this. Really.” Todd’s face was as red as his hair... and considering how pale the rest of him is? It was really obvious what _other_ parts were red as hell. Neil chuckled, kissing his way up Todd’s balls and shaft and leaning over him in bed.

“I believe you.” Neil grinned gently. “And I won’t keep you waiting much longer.”

**Larry/Travis - Antagonistic**

“Now everyone is going to know what a fucking fag you are.” Travis exhaled over Larry’s neck, his teeth having ravaged the tan skin. Larry simply grinned, showing off that stupid gap in his teeth as he lay there coated in nothing but beads of sweat.

“At least I’m not afraid to admit it, bastard.” Larry gripped the church boy’s shoulders again. “Don’t forget to tell God when you pray tonight I said hi.”

**Sal/Larry - Walkie-talkie runtime session**

“Wha... what’s next?” Sal asked, gripping the walkie-talkie like a lifeline. He shoved his pajama bottoms down, pumping his shaft with increasing speed.

“Then I shove my dick right in your ass.” Larry’s voice crackled. “Every fucking inch. I can feel you squeezing me and how tight you are... how desperate and greedy you are for my cock...”

“Yes...” Sally gasped. “And then, you’re slamming hard and fast into me, and your cock becomes my entire world. I can’t get enough of it... or you... I beg over and over, and boss the hell out of you... I need you, dumbass...”

“Yes... you complain that I’m not fast enough, I’m not as rough as I can be. But ohhh, I shut you up quick! I fuck you so hard, like my entire life depends on it. Soon all you can do is scream and call my name, again and again and again...”

“Larry... Larry... ohhh!” Sally cried, spilling himself into his palm. “Like that?”

“Ah... hah... y-yeah...”

“Larry... are you there? Larry? Haha...”

Needless to say, Larry and Sally passed out in their beds, tingling in bliss with walkie-talkie in hand.

**Sal/Travis - Blindfolds**

Travis usually associated darkness with cold isolation—it made him think of punishments, of closets his father would lock him in. So at first, the sweltering heat from Sal’s tongue didn’t make sense to him after the blindfold was tied over his eyes. But Travis’s confusion melted away with each bob on his cock, allowing himself to take refuge in Sal’s presence.

**Sal/Larry - Larry tied up**

Arms bound in rope to the ceiling and clad only in dark briefs, Larry shivered as Sal wandered his hands over his chest from behind him.

“Not quite as cocky as you used to be, huh?” Sal exhaled into his ear. “You should look before you leap, Johnson. Or you just might find yourself in a predicament you can’t escape.”

“Sal... oh god, Sal...!” Larry whimpered and twisted in his binds.

“That’s it. Keep being pretty for me.” Sal purred, smirking as he watched the tent in his lover’s briefs rise higher.

**Ashley/Larry - First time prostate play**

It was just a little fun with friends, Larry told himself. But he never realized exactly how much fun _this_ particular play would be. Larry clamped his hand over his mouth, badly suppressing his whimpers as Ash hooked her fingers deep into him and pushed a spot that lit stars in his vision and turned his legs to jello...

He never felt weaker than this. But like hell he wanted her to stop.

**Todd/Neil - Body positivity**

“It’s not that I care what anyone else thinks. It’s just...” Todd sighed, waving his hand at the pudgy stomach, the flubby thighs, and frankly short dick he possessed. “Larry’s getting buff, Sal has that charm and charisma, and you’re just perfect in every way. I’m just... fat.”

“And who says I don’t find you perfect too?” Neil replied, running his hand through his boyfriend’s fluffy red hair and stroking his beard. “I’m not here for Lar or old Salio. I want you. You are _my_ Todd. And everything about you is a star in my sky.” He kissed his lips. “Now... are you ready to light my night?”

“Oh fuck... thanks Neil.” Todd smiled. “Of course I am.”

**Todd/Neil - Morning hugs and morning wood**

Neil purred as Todd wrapped his arms around him. He nestled back against the hardness tucked at his rear, causing the redhead to groan and squirm.

“Morning sunshine.” Neil smiled. “Want me to help take care of that for you?”

“Mmm... yeah...” Todd lay his head on the crook of Neil’s shoulder as he kept nudging his hips against him.

**Sal/Larry - Larry rocking Sanity’s Fall thigh-highs**

“Dude, you look way better in thigh-highs than you have any right to be.” Sal said.

“Aren’t they badass?” Larry grinned, stretching a black-clad leg. “They’re even from Sanity’s Fall. You can see the logo right there.”

“I’m jealous, dude. I thought I was the king of thigh-highs.”

“The throne’s got enough room for two, dude.” Larry pulled Sal onto his lap, claiming his lips with his.

  
  


~

  
  


**Sal/Larry - Sounding**

“It’s okay. I got you.” Larry assured. Sal was cradled into his lap so he could hold him as he fit the rod inside—soon the guitarist’s nervousness dissipated, and he panted softly as the metalhead dipped the rod in and out inside his shaft.

“Oh god... I never knew it was possible for you to fuck my cock like this...” Sal breathed, reaching up the best he can for a kiss. “Don’t ever stop... oh...”


End file.
